Three guys walk into restaurant. They sit down and all begin masturbating furiously. The waiters runs over and asks, horrified, "What the hell are you people doing?"
One man replies, "We're starving, and the sign says FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"

***** *****

(Bad Leak)

A man wakes up next to his wide after a long night at the bar and asks, "Hey, have you changed anything in the house lately?"
"No," the wife replies.
"Why do you ask?"
"Does our bathroom light come on when you open the door?"
Confused, the wife answers, "No, I don't think so."
"Shit. I pissed in the refrigerator again.

***** *****